The Golden Toilet Stolen in Five Minutes: When True Crime Outdoes Comedy

Let’s be honest: when we think of a major heist, we imagine diamonds, famous paintings, vaults, and thieves dodging lasers with the elegance of Catherine Zeta-Jones.

We rarely imagine a gang making a getaway with a toilet.

And yet, in 2019, at Blenheim Palace, someone actually managed to walk away with “America”, the fully functional 18-karat gold toilet created by Italian artist Maurizio Cattelan.

It weighed nearly a hundred kilograms, was worth millions of pounds, and was officially connected to the palace’s plumbing system.

A detail that, evidently, everyone considered a security guarantee.

After all, who would ever break into a historic palace, rip a golden toilet off the pipes, and drag it out?

Well. They would.

The best part—because this story seems to be trying very hard to become increasingly absurd—is that one of the men, during a reconnaissance mission the day before, reportedly even used the toilet, later describing the experience as “splendid”.

I don’t know what strikes me more: the fact that he tested the loot before stealing it, or the review he essentially left for the product.

Five stars. Very comfortable seat. Pickup was a bit complicated.

The following night, the gang returned, ripped the artwork from the plumbing, and completed the job in just a few minutes. The result was a flooded palace and a multi-million pound toilet that vanished into thin air.

The gold has never been recovered, and it is believed that it may have been melted down. The convictions finally came in 2025, but there is still no trace of the famous toilet.

I have reconstructed the entire saga on Quotidea: the stakeout, the theft, the vehicles used, the flooding, the investigation, and the trial.

Because while it may be a True Crime story, it remains, above all, proof that reality doesn't need screenwriters when it puts its mind to it.

All it needs is a palace, a gang, and a golden toilet hooked up to the pipes.

The toilet must have been invented by someone who knew nothing about men.

And the golden one, evidently, by someone who still had too much faith in them.

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